Struggling with Intimacy and MS

Multiple sclerosis (MS) affects many aspects of life and one of the most disconcerting and embarrassing aspects is sex. It is quite normal to have a decrease in sexual desire because the MS symptoms like fatigue, incontinence problems and muscle spasms can really hamper a romantic situation can’t they? There are some things you can try to improve the sexual part of your life so get over your embarrassment and work hard to try and get that romantic spark back, regardless of the MS.

Understanding the Decrease in Sexual Desire

MS involves both psychological and neurological aspects when it comes to sex. Just think about it … you feel attracted to someone so your central nervous system conveys that to your particular sexual body part and the chemicals in your brain are altered as a result of this desire. However, with MS, those normal neurological impulses that your brain and spinal area sends are lost in the translation due to the damage to the protective sheath of your nerves called myelin.

When this myelin becomes damaged, a lesion forms in the area thus hindering an accurate translation of those electrical impulses your brain is trying to send to the rest of your body. So while the mind is willing, the rest of the body is betraying your sexual desire. You may develop some of these symptoms like decrease vaginal musculature and lubrication, difficulty ejaculating, loss of sensation in the genital area, decreased sex drive and even problems achieving an orgasm.

Other symptoms of MS can hamper your sexual desire and willingness to have sex. Fatigue is a real mood buster as is pain and sensory changes in your body. However, the most nerve-wracking and embarrassing symptom that can interfere with sexual positions or even cause pain at penetration is spasticity, a stiffness in muscles that is often incontrollable.

Psychologically, when you do not have sex or maintain intimate contact with your mate, this can cause a number of issues such as depression, negative body image and changes in how you perceive yourself as a sensual body. Performance anxiety – wondering if you are going to go spastic – is a major downer in the bedroom as well.

Communication is Key

Obviously, your mate know you have MS. Therefore, do not avoid the issue of sex and slowly build feelings of resentment; instead, talk with your mate about your embarrassment and worries about intimacy. Confiding in your mate is the biggest step towards making peace with your unpredictability in the bedroom, thanks to MS.

Also talk with your doctor about your intimacy problems. You might be able to change your medication to one that might cause less sexual dysfunction. Also, your doctor may be able to prescribe some other alternative methods to help keep your sexuality alive. There are various massage techniques as well as imagery that can help maintain desire. In addition, a variety of products and other sexual aids exist to help in the matters of the bedroom. There is hope for a relatively healthy sex life and MS at the same time.