Determining Just How Hungover You Really are

Hangover rating scales are nothing new...college kids have them, housewives, businessmen, even scientists rate the degree to which a person is capable of metabolizing alcohol and the effect alcohol has on the body.

There is one rating scale for "how hungover you are" that originated in Massachusetts. This scale is particularly "clean" and fun to participate in, unless of course you are in the throes of a humdinger of a hangover.

This particular rating scale has a star rating. One star is the rating for the lowest possible stage of being hungover (the not at all stage) and the six star stage being the highest rating where you cannot remember anything about what you did last night other than you went to a party and had a few drinks. You gain consciousness on the floor and am uncertain of exactly what happened after that 5th or 6th drink. In between stars 1 and 6 are the stages that describe the various levels of drunkenness and the aftereffects called the degree of being hungover.

Knowing what your stage of being hungover is, can perhaps give you some direction on how much or how little you can or should drink next time, if there is a next time. If you keep track of how many drinks it takes to reach each stage, perhaps you can use the rating scale to determine exactly how many drinks you should consume depending on what it is that you have to do the next day and what state of mind and body you need to be in to perform the duties expected of you the next day.

One Star - You feel no pain, and are not feeling ill. Your sleep last night was refreshing. You do however feel parched. You can function relatively well.

Two Star - You feel no pain, and look okay, but your mental capacity is a little off. The coffee you downed recently is sitting in your stomach doing flip-flops and your bowels are not behaving.

Three Star - You have a slight headache, but nothing you can't handle. Crappy is the word you would use to describe your stomach and you are definitely not going to have a very productive day today. You have downed a total of 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 Snapple’s and an entire liter of coke, and yet you still have not peed even once.

Four Star - Life looks pretty dreary from where you sit with your throbbing head in your lap. You dare not speak for fear of throwing up. You were late for work and smell of booze.. You look like you have had a wild party and didn't have time to change.

Five Star - There is a second heartbeat in your head. Alcohol reeks from every pore on your body, making you extremely dizzy. You feel like your dry, swollen tongue is suffocating you. Death seems pretty good right about now. You have no clue who you were with last night, where you were, what you were drinking and who the stranger was sleeping next to you in bed this morning.

Six Star - You discover the ceiling s you open your eyelids and the floor is your pillow. You discover you are lying in your own vomit. You are not going to work or anywhere else for that matter, as you can't seem to lift you head off the floor.