Helping Your Child Cope with Birth Defects

Even as the infant and toddler years are amazing in the fact that new discoveries are made on a daily basis, there will come a time when your pint sized angel realizes that she or he is different from the other kids. No, it is not the skin or hair color, gender, or even the way words are pronounced, but it is the fact that a birth defect has changed something about the child’s body that makes it different from everyone else. From that day forward, the child who is not properly prepared to deal with the reality of being different will most likely give way to a furious flurry of attempts to be the same as everyone else. This is markedly different from accepting one’s limitations and instead trying to press on and accomplish as much in spite of one’s birth defect or disability! Instead, the child is unable to deal with the aspect of being different and attempting to gloss over it soon takes up a lot of the little one’s time and effort.

While a certain amount of denial and failure to accept the condition are normal, helping your child cope with birth defects is a vital function you, as the parent, must be willing and able to fulfill. Of course, this will require you to come to terms with your child’s condition and to find a way to gain a positive outlook on life in general and your child’s life in particular. Acceptance can be taught just as easily as denial and cover-up, yet it is the wise parent who will begin early on the process of teaching a child to deal with their reality of their being born different.

If your child’s birth defect requires medication, therapy, and regular doctors’ visits, you will need to consider the effects these treatments have on the child’s psyche as well as the body. Children may feel hopeless, a burden, or frustrated at their lack of progress. Usually their feelings will mirror your own expectations and thus it is wise to find an outlet for your own frustrations and anger, so that you will have the ability to cope with the realities of your child’s condition. Depending on your child’s birth defect, you will find a plethora of organizations that are devoted to helping parents and children in your position. Take advantage of their resources and find help to give your child the best possible coping mechanisms possible.

Expect your child to have some fears that may express themselves differently than you would have anticipated. While some children may be afraid of the dark, your child may be afraid of certain smells or colors, perhaps those associated with the hospital or another facility. Work within the framework of your child’s understanding and accept her or his fears and childhood anxieties even though they may appear odd. Learn not to coddle them, yet at the same time express your understanding and unwavering support. Much like a child afraid of the dark needs to learn to eventually overcome this fear, a child afraid of the color white will need to learn to eventually overcome this fright. Helping your child cope with birth defects will go a long ways to ensuring that this is entirely possible.